Had a Man Last Year, Life Goes On...

*cues Drake*


I feel like there’s an elephant in the room that might need addressing – or maybe there isn’t and I’m the elephant in a room full of humans that I think are oddly staring at me. Whichever. If you’ve been following me for a while, know me at all, or are new here and just very observant, you likely know that I got married a little over 3 years ago. Now while I’ll spare you the intricacies of what could be a New York Time’s Best Seller, I’ll have you know that that relationship has since come to an end. 

On my birthday, in April, I posted this photo on Instagram and talked about freeing myself from the burden of giving a damn about what people think. And for the most part, I’ve done that. I’ve come to a point that in a world where so many of us are fishing for likes, I’d much rather be respected. Respected for my strength, my endurance, my forgiving heart, and my decency as a human being. Respected for the hate I don’t have in my heart toward those who have wronged me. Respected for the love I have to give, and the courage it took to realize it was time to walk away.


I am guilty of having judged people around me for having gone through something I was just ignorant to. Judged the act of divorce and then turned around and had an opinion on the time it took for them to move on. WHO WAS I? How unfair is that?

Imagine going through the toughest time of your life and on top dealing with the obvious ramifications of that, also knowing that people are seemingly basking in what they think is your misery. No one wants to be that person. So don’t.

Be kind to strangers and people you know alike. As kind as you would be to someone wearing a sign that told you in one word what they might be going through – cancer. divorce. death of a loved one. miscarriage. depression. anxiety. Impart the same grace you would want to be imparted unto you in your darkest moments, and speak life into people, even when you can’t fathom their hardship. 


I still get frustrated with myself for having loved the wrong person, but I am so grateful for the lesson in discernment, and for my restored faith. I surprised myself with my strength. Divorce is not a marketing scheme, nor a means to appear victimized. No one plans for the demise of a covenant they entered into before God, family, and friends, and in this day in age – the internet. No relationship is immune to the sorts of pressures and external factors that can inevitably bring it to an unexpected end. Remember that. No one plans for this. But I did plan to live a life of happiness and prosperity – and anyone or anything that attempts to be a hindrance to that plan… well, they all gotta go. In the always powerful words of r.h. sin – “Let him go. Keep yourself.” Par for the course. 

Now, if anyone has any tips on navigating this atrocity that is millennial dating, send them my way. lol Kidding. Sorta. 

Keep me lifted in prayer, yall.