It’s been a while since I’ve done a 10 Things. As you might imagine, this could’ve very easily been 140 things, but I’ve spared you and am sharing 10 of my very random, introspective thoughts this week. Enjoy.
I own everything that has happened to me. They’re my stories to tell. If people wanted me to write warmly about them, they should’ve behaved better. Anne Lamontt’s words have never been truer. I remind myself of them constantly when I find myself censoring my words as to not impart criticism onto those who have played the villain in my story. Truth is though, there wasn’t a casting call. We have full rein on choosing the characters we want to be. SHOULD’VE BEHAVED BETTER, ASSHOLE.
Why do women seemingly have to take the backseat after a date they think went well? Why do we sit around wondering if he will call? Why does the experience rating rest upon whether or not he thinks you’re worthy enough to ask you to share more time with him? Eff that. If you enjoyed yourself, reach out. Don’t silence yourself nor downplay your experience because of some stupid unwritten rule. And if he didn’t walk away from his time with you feeling like you’re more than an option, lace up your chucks and keep it moving.
I honestly think I would dread the start of the work week less if of all weekends were three day weekends. Two days just isn’t enough to decompress from the BS you’re likely to encounter in 40 waking hours of forced human interaction. I’m writing a letter.
I’ve avoided having white sheets for the majority of my life. But when I moved out of my house to live on my own for the first time in what feels like forever, I got white sheets. And a white comforter. And everyday I wake up feeling like I’m in a hotel bed.
Deciding what to hang on your walls is the most challenging part of home decor. Hanging things feels so permanent. What if I get tired of looking at the same photo/painting/piece of art? Needless to say, my walls are still bare. Help.
We don’t deserve dogs. Whoever compared men to dogs, clearly never had one. Or a soul.
I hate being ignored. I feel like that’s one of the most disrespectful things you could do to a human who is doing nothing more than trying to communicate with you. If communicating back is something you’re not wanting to do in the moment, COMMUNICATE that. Don’t leave it up for guessing. It’s an awful character trait and it’s awful for my anxiety. Grow up. Use your words.
Through this new journey of mine, I’m learning to stop beating myself up for having expectations of people to simply be decent humans. Focusing less on the negatives and more on the positives – aka the reasons you might’ve been drawn to a particular person – has helped. i.e. I don’t blame myself for thinking so-and-so was dope just because he disappointed me or let me down. He was really witty and I’m drawn to witty people. Or, what’s-her-face didn’t come through like she said she would, but I did appreciate when she did xyz. When you focus on the negative characteristics or actions of a person, you more often than not tend to blame yourself for being attracted, drawn to or trusting said person. Focusing on the positive attributes about them helps release yourself from the notion that it’s somehow your fault for having loved/trusted/been interested in/cared for that person. And it upholds their integrity… even when they might not be deserving of it. (I’m getting my money’s worth in therapy, okurrr. And I’m sharing the wealth. You’re welcome).
You never know how strong you are until you have to forgive someone who isn’t sorry.
Do introspective men exist? Like, are there any of them that are open and willing to unpack their feelings and emotions to help grow beyond the confines of the challenges they’re currently facing? You know, so you can potentially eliminate the possibility of reoccurrence? Asking for a friend. Give me his number though so I can pass it along. To my friend, of course. Unless he happens to be 6ft+, athletic build and has a beard that connects. Then I might keep it for myself.
Happy weekend, yall!